No matter how much your spouse loves you or wants to please you, s/he might never have the same sex drive as you. Therefore, it's unreasonable for you to expect your spouse to be at your beck and call every time you feel sexual. You need to take responsibility for satisfying your own needs from time to time. In all likelihood, you are already doing this, and you don't need me to tell you to do it. However, you might be feeling resentful about it, and that's not fair. Although it is my hope that your spouse will invest more energy into your sexual relationship, there will still be times when you're ready to roll and s/he isn't. That's normal, and you need to accept it. As long as your spouse is making more of an effort to understand and care for you and your needs, you need to work harder at accepting your differences. And part of this acceptance entails taking care of yourself occasionally and feeling fine about it. This will be easier for you to do once you truly feel your spouse cares about you and your feelings. And hopefully, if that isn't happening already, it will, very soon.
Step 1:
Ask your partner if they are willing to experiment with new techniques in your love life. If you want to be sexually bold you have to start with a solid basis of communication.
Step 2:
Be playful and have a good sense of humor when discussing sex with your partner. It's okay if you feel a little uncomfortable as you first broach the subject.
Step 3:
Include romance in your effort to be sexually bold. Everyone likes to feel as though they are being appreciated for what it is they are agreeing to do.
Step 4:
Talk about your sexual experiences together after you've stepped away from the bedroom. Be willing to listen to one another and make adjustments to suit you and your partner's comfort level.
Step 5:
Keep trying new things together in order to keep your love life exciting and dynamic. If you want to be sexually bold you'll need to show a little creativity.
Step 6:
Remember that to be sexually bold, a lot more is required than mere bedsmanship. The psychological and emotional surroundings are just as important in an effort to establish a fulfilling experience.
A - Accept and appreciate your partner for who they are. Avoid doing the same thing over and over. Great sex should be an adventure! Aromatic fragrances are acceptable in the bedroom.
B - Believe in your ability to satisfy your partner, then do it. Savor, wallow and bask in the bliss of coming together.
C - Be Considerate of your partner's needs. Stop when they say, "No!"
D - Disappear ocassionaly. It's okay to occasionally want to be alone while in a relationship. Daydream about your next sexcapade together and watch desire build. Try an afternoon delight!
E - Enjoy something different for a change of pace. It's exciting and envigorating. Explicit and energetic exploits empower the sexual experience. Hold your partner in a loving embrace at least once each day.
F - Forgive your partner when things go wrong. Not forgiving shows up in the bedroom. Always strive to fulfill your lover's desires. Asking, "Wanna fool around?" is a great question.
G - Generosity. Always give more than you take. Guys, always make sure your partner comes first (if you know what I mean). Pleasure her with gusto.
H - Share the housework. Nowhere is it written that housework should be only and always a woman's job. (And the women all say, "Amen!"). Being hedonistic in the boudoir keeps love alive!
I - Investigate new ways of making love. It pumps new excitement into the relationship and keeps it fresh. Inovate! Be creative.
J - Just do it. Do what, you say? Hmmmmm. If you have to ask, click here!
K - Passionately kissing your lover is often the magic connection to great sex.
L - Love. Tell your partner you love them. . . often. Say it aloud. Say it while making love. Do things that help them know you do. Lusting after your lover is a good thing.
M - Masturbate and let your partner watch. It's okay to take care of yourself when you are alone too.
N - Never do anything sexually that you and your partner cannot agree upon. NEVER!
O - Oral sex creates excitement. Open your eyes. Watch what is going on in your relationship. Handle it with care.
P - Practice does not make you perfect, it only makes you better. Be prepared for your next tumble in the hay; have candles, lubricants, sex toys, condoms, etc., handy. Passionately whisper words of love while making love. Pleasure and passion are the keywords.
Q - Quit being shy. Ask for what you want. Your partner cannot read your mind. Quietly basking in the "afterglow;" tenderly only holding each other can express Love far deeper than can words.
R - Respect your partner. Mutual respect in your relationship is an absolute necessity for it to grow. Read and study sexual techniques. Get racy, rank, risque and raunchy every once in awhile. Relish the moment!
S - Sexuality & spirituality go together. Making love is the highest spiritual connection you can make with each other. Stimulate your lover. Slow down. Snuggle. Take your time. Savor the moment. Soft seductive sounds - music, soft moans, etc., - can add some spice to your most passionate moments.
T - Trust is the foundation of a healthy love relationship. Without it there can be no effective communication. Without communication there can be no genuine intimacy.
U - Understand what your partner needs sexually. Ask, then do and do it unwaveringly.
V - Visualize making love to your partner before you do. See what you would like to have happen. Vary the velocity of your strokes, fondling, caressing, licking and touching; vigorous, then gentle, vigorous, then gentle!
W - Keep a watchful eye on your relationship outside of the bedroom. You will see that it makes a BIG difference as to what goes on "in" the bedroom.
X - Xcite your lover with the unexpected. Xcellerate, then slow down. Watch an x-rated movie together.
Y - Yield to the moment while making love. Surrender. Say, "yes" to Love!
Z - Zest for adventure in the relationship. Zero in on pleasure with geniune zeal.
Pain management. Forgo popping a pain killer and opt for something a bit more “au naturel.” Sex has been shown to offer migraine and menstrual cramp relief, as well as alleviate chronic back pain thanks to the endorphins and corticosteroids released during sexual arousal and orgasm.
— Stress relief. Sex, even if only with ourselves, impacts the way we respond to stress, increasing levels of oxytocin and stimulating feelings of warmth and relaxation. What better way to unwind from a tough day than sharing its most climactic moment with your special someone?
— Immune booster. Stop spending late nights at the office. Sex wards off colds and the flu. And sexually active people take fewer sick days, giving the phrase “working late” an entirely new meaning. Bosses, take note.
— Better heart health. A little bit of heart and soul in the sack should be part of every doctor’s orders when it comes to cardiovascular care. Sex may help lower cholesterol and the risk of heart attack.
— Increased self-esteem and intimacy. When sex is consistent and involves mutual pleasure, it can increase bonding since the surge in oxytocin at orgasm stimulates feelings of affection, intimacy, and closeness. When spiritual in nature, sex can lead to an even better quality of life and stronger relationship. Is it any wonder that good sexual energy in a positive relationship can make you feel better about yourself, your partner, and life in general?
— Sleep enhancement. There’s no need to count sheep when sex, including masturbation, helps insomnia. Plus, making love sure beats tossing and turning your way to zzzz’s.
— A better, younger looking you. Sex keeps you looking and feeling younger and, according to some research, may lead to shiny hair, a glowing complexion and bright eyes. This is because it increases the youth-promoting hormone DHEA (dehydroepiandrostone). And feeling more attractive charges your sex life even more.
— Mood lifter. Sex releases pleasure-inducing endorphins during arousal and climax that can relieve depression and anxiety, and increase vibrancy.
— Longevity. There is a significant relationship between frequency of orgasm and risk of death, especially with men. Men who orgasm two times a week have a 50 percent lower chance of mortality than those who climax one time per month. The bonus: Living longer also gives you and your honey the opportunity for even more lovin’!
— Decreased risk of breast cancer. One study of women who had never given birth found that an increased frequency of sexual intercourse was correlated with a decrease in the incidence of breast cancer.
— Reproductive health benefits. According to at least one study, sex appears to decrease a man’s risk of prostate cancer, and the prevention of endometriosis in women. It also promotes fertility in women by regulating menstrual patterns.
Yet most of us are quicker to hit the gym before hitting the sheets when it comes to taking care of ourselves. Believe it or not, huffing and puffing your way through a hot, sweat-inducing sex session may be far more beneficial to your overall health than the time you spend on the treadmill.
As research confirms time and time again, good sex in a healthy, stable, monogamous relationship can only better our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being. Sex, in this context, offers us tons of benefits, most of which aren’t touted nearly enough.
